What happens if a man is put on maternity leave?

Columnist Valeria Lorca answers your questions along with psychologists. Write about everything that concerns you, in the comments, and our experts will try to help you.

It's like in the movie "Love-carrot", when the main characters - a married couple - changed bodies. But we, bodies, thank God, did not change. Only duties. Although this was enough. In general, when my child was one year old, I went to work, and my husband took maternity leave. Around, everyone sighed and gasped: “How is that? Bringing money to the family is a man’s duty! ”I don’t argue, but there are different situations and offers. There are those that can not be abandoned. Well, no way!

Since the husband “sat down” (in the sense of running up) at home with a child, he lost seven kilograms. For three months. At first it was hard: he didn’t understand how it was - not to belong to himself, not when he wanted, but when the child “resolves”, and, sorry for the details, but our kid doesn’t like if the bathroom door is closed therefore, they even go to the toilet together. At first, the house was a catastrophic mess.Doing several things in parallel is not about men. Therefore, the first time I came home from work, I could find toilet paper or children's slippers on the kitchen table, a pile of dirty dishes and things scattered around the apartment, toys, books, wires, cookies crumbs. Now our dad cooks soup during the daytime sleep of the child, washes clothes in the washing machine, and this is progress!

About the relationship between father and child

This is something incredible. I can not even tell you how close they are and how gently they relate to each other. I feel that the baby has become more relaxed, and my father - soft, kind, tremulous. Psychologists say that dad plays a very important role in the girl's life. Their relationship will determine which of the little girls the woman “will turn out”, which husband she will choose for herself later, which will allow him and what will not. She basks in his love, and I noticed how much more confident and relaxed she became. In this regard, I advise everyone to leave children with dads more often. Men spend all their lives at work and do not notice how their children grow up. That is the reality.

What happens if a man is put on maternity leave?

I faded into the background for both

But still, being in my place, my husband began to understand me better.Not no offense, of course, but still. For example, he says that going to work is much easier than staying at home with a child, although he used to think that being at home is like being on vacation and lying on the beach. And washing-cleaning-ironing is “generally tin.”

He doesn’t imagine how I used to watch both the child and the house at the same time. Then he did not understand why I was so tired and tortured. Recently gave me: “You could take a day off on your birthday and spend it with your family! With us! ”At that moment, I seemed to see myself half a year ago in him. Mirror situation. In general, my girlfriend, watching us from the outside, admitted: "You know, when you went to work, I began to understand my husband better." And I began to better understand men in general. After an early rise at six in the morning, a crazy working day, the way back and forth would be to come home and just exhale, and not meet a disgruntled person and not listen to a complaint. Honestly.

The child greets me with a smile, but it can also drive me out of the room, and hit me on the nose, saying that she has come? The main for her is now dad. At first, I cried. I thought about quitting work, but now I can see how my family has rallied since my husband took the decree.And I finally correctly learned how to spend my time, to enjoy simple things. In general, this therapy is useful - "husband on maternity leave." I advise everyone.

And now your questions about working moments:

Anna, 26 years old, Voronezh

I spent three years on maternity leave. A week ago, came to a new job. And it seems to me that my brain began to work in a completely different way: I really think very hard, and even simple things about work are difficult for me. I want to go home all the time. This is a nightmare.

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