Visits to friends, relatives, close relatives.
How to behave at a party
If you go to visit, remember that it is very impolite to come there late, in dirty shoes and sloppy clothes, uncombed. “The guest is the king, the accuracy is the politeness of the kings” - such is the saying. Do not forget what is politeness.
But one should not come without an invitation. When this happens, then persist, if you are not allowed into the house, you should not. Write a note explaining why you wanted to see one or another family member.
The duty of the host is to try so that his guests feel good, that a friendly atmosphere is established and everyone feels welcome in this house. Do not forget who should greet first. It is impolite for guests to break up into small groups or pairs and whisper among themselves. Bad mood and discontent - even if there is a reason for them - neither the guest nor the owners show it. This is bad form.If the guests themselves can not determine the time of departure, the host should, in a mild form, make them understand that it’s time to go home, inviting them to another time.
Visits to friends, relatives, close relatives. Come for a visit.
About 100 years ago, visits attributed to etiquette were considered a prerequisite for every decent person. Many of the recommendations of how to go on a visit, have not lost their value now. Read and compare - perhaps something will seem ridiculous to you, but we are sure that something will help you when visiting friends and acquaintances.
Required visits were considered:
Visits to those who have rendered you a service: these are appreciation visits;
Visits to people who have been to you at dinner or at an evening, these visits are obligatory, even if you did not use the invitation;
Visits to friends and acquaintances when they have some joyful event: they are congratulatory visits.
Visits to friends and acquaintances when misfortune befalls them: support visits (condolences). It was also considered necessary to visit friends and good acquaintances when they are sick; they, in turn, as soon as they recover, should make their first visits to those who visited them most often.
When we went to visit relatives or friends, it was enough to put on a black short coat, but official and ceremonial visits were made only in a black dress shirt, black pants, black vest and black tie, only a white vest was allowed in the summer. Lingerie had to be immaculate whiteness - simple tips.
The ladies made morning visits in a modest costume, but in the evening they appeared in more elegant attire.
In the New Year, visits were made in the continuation of the whole of January, but it was considered the most courteous to give a visit on the very day of the New Year.
Morning visits should be done between three and five o'clock in the afternoon. However, regarding the morning visits, it should be noted that the time was commensurate with the rhythm of life of those who came to visit.
It was considered indecent to appear with a bow while eating, especially during breakfast.
A person who has not been paid a visit should stop his visits as a precaution so that he is not considered obsessive.
A woman should not allow herself to visit men
This was allowed only if a woman is forced to make a visit to a man out of a sense of gratitude or when there is an old friendship between them based on deep respect and trust.
A young girl should not make visits at all without the permission of her parents. She should also not leave, except as if accompanied by her mother or a woman replacing her.
Going to the apartment of those you visit, the first thing you need to brush the dust from the dress and wipe your feet on the rug.
Then, of course, you should call or knock, but not too loud, and so that the knock is heard. If, after you have called or knocked two or three times, with some interval, no one opens, then you should leave and leave your business card at the doorman, having bent first its left corner: this means that you were personally.
If there is a key in the door or the door is open, you should knock lightly and then wait until you receive an invitation to enter or until a servant comes out to bring you into the rooms.
In this case, it was necessary to communicate your name, so that the servant knew how to introduce you.
Ladies never took off capes and hats before the hostess does not offer to do it. She also monitored the duration of visits.
In addition to all of the above, our ancestors believed that entering the living room, in which there are several persons,it is customary first to greet the hostess, and after that with the guests staying with her, even if you don’t know them, in the latter case you should bow silently.
If during a visit you are with the landlord or mistress of the house, thenis a new visitor, whose arrival is a pleasure for the owners, then stay there for another ten minutes and then by all means leave.
If you notice that the owner of the house takes out of his pocket any paper, or is looking for something on the desk, or, finally, looks at the clock with a scattered look, then leave immediately, even if you arrived five minutes before. If the person to whom you came, was preparing to leave the house, then do not delay him and, no matter how strongly he asked you to stay, leave immediately.
If you are taken in the bedroom, in the absence of a living room, do not put your hat on the bed, even if, in the absence of another place, you have to hold it in your hands.
Etiquette of official visits.
For official visits, leave your coat and hat in the front, and for ordinary visits, leave only the coat in the front. Enter the rooms with a hat in your hands until one of the owners of the house offers you to put it. But gloves should not be removed during the continuation of the entire visit.
You can never enter the living room with a cane or an umbrella: they are left in front. Only ladies can enter with their fancy lace umbrellas. However, in exceptional cases, a man can enter the intimate living room with a cane, whose knob of pure gold is covered with precious stones. Of course, such a thing is risky to leave in the care of servants. Still old men and cripples can appear in the most dusky drawing rooms, leaning on a cane.
The duration of the visit should be commensurate with its usefulness. If this is a ceremonial visit, then it should not last more than half an hour.
One of the most difficult tasks, especially for those who have not yet rotated in secular society, is to finish the visit in time and to leave decently. After all, the most important thing in the art of making visits is not only the ability to enter correctly and in a timely manner, but it is also nice and easy to get up and, until you are tired of the owners, bow and leave.
We talked about how,how to come and how to leave the guests, but have not yet learned how wives behave there. First of all, an educated person will never make comments on certain interior items in the owners' house, ask how much it costs, emphasize: those or other advantages of the owners,will not emphasize the shortcomings of the invitees. Here is the etiquette of our great-grandmothers. In our opinion, it’s not so funny, something can be borrowed.
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