Personal story: "I live with my husband, knowing that he has another"
- Hi. Something happened? - I asked my husband. On the table was an almost empty bottle of brandy.
“I don't want to live with you anymore.”
- Why? - I swallowed nervously, I asked.
“I don’t know how it happened, but I don’t love you anymore,” he said, wiping away tears.
To say that I did not understand anything is to say nothing. Only yesterday we were a family, and today, it turns out, he did not need me.
My attempts to find out at least something did not bring results. There was one answer to all the questions: “I have a void inside and I don’t know what to do with it”.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know what to do with this news either. The baby woke up, and I quietly left the kitchen.
Turn upside down
In the morning, without looking into my eyes, my husband drank empty tea and left for work.From that night hell began in my house.
He came when he pleases, sometimes drunk, sometimes noisy, sometimes sad. He preferred not to talk with me, did not ask about children, did not bring money to the family. I did not take the tubes from me and did not call myself.
It’s as if we were divided into two camps - in the one I am with our boys and household chores, in the other - he is like a cat that walks by itself. In the bed between us, he put a pillow, and after a while he moved to the floor altogether.
“No, I just don't want to be with you.”
- Where are you then disappearing at night?
- I sit in the car near the entrance and listen to music.
Of course, I did not want to believe that he was cheating on me. After all, for all 10 years of our acquaintance, such sins have never been followed.
For three months I lived in a vice. When he was at home, she was afraid to breathe and forget that you should not touch him, it is better not to talk to him. During this time, from a cheerful, caring and calm man, he turned into a nervous, irritable and alien. He stroked his shirts himself, practically did not eat at home, went away hungry, and returned to satiety.
I got a phobia.I began to fear the sound of an elevator. Every evening, putting the boys to bed, I fell down from exhaustion, but I certainly woke up when I heard the lift move.
- Is he? No, not him! - and I again fell into a dream. So I woke up 10 times a night, until I heard the front door open at 3 or 4 am.
I received my sight
Over time, I realized that he never confessed to treason, but he still has another woman.
Probably, I am emotionally stingy, but I did not roll up scandals, did not track them down and did not threaten her. I lost weight, grew older and cried for almost 24 hours a day. Once, when a baby, who was barely 6 months old, fell ill, I persistently called him, and after half an hour I received a short SMS: “Do not call, I'm busy. I will come home, as I come. ” I covered. I began to search the fifth corner in the apartment, I remember that I wanted to whine, as if from unbearable physical pain, and in my head there were questions: “For what? What have I done to him? ”
It turns out that all this time he shamelessly lived with two at the same time. However, it was not I who made the choice, but he.
My husband seemed to split apart. In the morning he was strange and cold, and at night I woke up from his touch or heavy gaze on me when he sat quietly at the head of the bed.
I did not need evidence of his betrayal, his behavior spoke for itself.But I didn’t help me to understand what I want: sometimes I felt a storm of hatred towards him, and sometimes waves of love and tenderness rolled over. Indeed, in spite of everything, he was my husband for almost 10 years.
Once in his next midnight spree I finally asked: “When will it end?”
- Soon. I quit my job and leave to live in another city, ”he said calmly, and left the room.
The earth left me from under my feet. For a moment, I even forgot how to breathe, and in my head I sat down with one single question: “What about us?”
Having "slept" with this news, I even found advantages in it:
+ he will try to live without us and see how bored he is;
+ I will calm down and stop harassing myself with constant suspicions and rhetorical questions;
+ whatever is done, all the better.
And by the evening of the next day I quietly exhaled: it means that it is necessary.
But then I did not even suspect that this was only the beginning.
"I want it so much"
After a couple of days, he really quit and went to work for another company. He had to train for a month in order to enter a new position and leave. At first, I was pleased with these changes, as the work was near the house and the schedule assumed that at 19:00 he would be at home, which meanspurely theoretically, you can spend more time with children: do senior lessons and take him to workouts, walk with your baby and play with him.
But it was only my assumptions.
When I woke up at 2 am, I realized that he never came home. The hand reached for the phone: "Where are you?"
Oddly enough, he answered flew right there: “I rented an apartment. I will not live with you anymore. Things will take tomorrow. "
What? I remember, then I started a real hysterics. Neither a cold shower, nor an infinite amount of valerian, nor alcohol helped me to recover. Tears of rain erupted from me, and my stomach twisted in incredible pain. Only in the morning I, having “crumpled up” myself somehow, gathered my son to school and to his question “Where is dad?” Silently shrugged and swallowed the lump that came to my throat.
In the evening, the test was waiting for my boy rather than me. He sincerely did not understand what was happening. The father could not give a clear explanation of his questions. Sniffling like a small one, he pulled his son to him and kept saying like a parrot: “It’s right.”
And only at the door, when he took the bag, I asked: “Why are you doing this?” He answered rudely: “Because I want it so.”
P. S. He rented an apartment near the house of his mistress.And they moved to another city together. Twice a month, he came to visit his children, and then she bore him another child. Now he has no time left for our boys. All this time she was married, just like me and my husband.
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