Disagreements between parents

Disagreements between parentsSchizoid child in a dysfunctional family



Disagreements between parents. Fancy mixture: father-epileptoid, mother - neurotic astenik, inconsistent parenting systems, including over-care and worship by the female half of the family, as well as rejection and emotional rejection of the father, care for the illness, identification with the deceased brother, education of dyads in the family .


He depended on maternal care and understanding, as well as in her very presence as a defense against his father. Mother was the only person who never let him down, in whose universe he held a central position, whom he adored with a passion that may be the most genuine in his life. He considered mother perfection.



Mother was saturated with neuroticism, asthenic obsessive fear for the child. In order to somehow reduce her anxiety for the child, she wanted to control his every movement, his thought, the movement of his soul.


The family was dominated by women: the old grandmother was seated in her rocking chair; overly cared for all mother Daly; his unmarried aunt, his nanny Lucia; little sister; maids in the kitchen.And in the center of this world was Dali, the spoiled prince around whom this firmament of women revolved. "What do you want, my beloved?"


Beloved mother encourages hysteria and bad behavior. Mother forgave him even the worst of his behavior. Since she loved him so much and, as Dali believed, she could not be mistaken, he came to the conclusion that his evil deeds and evil tricks are in fact amazing.


From very early childhood, he fell into paraxisms of anger, which his nervous mother could soothe only with promises that he could dress up like a king in a fancy dress ...


Early conflict with the father. Non-acceptance on the part of the father The father did not understand the individuality of the child, tried to break it, impose his opinion on him, saw only the negative aspects of the child's behavior.


Apparently, epileptoid and schizoid features prevailed in the character of the father.


Contradictory systems of education If the mother was for Dali an idol, then the father became his enemy, his rival in the struggle for the feelings and affection of the mother ...


From a very early age he began to challenge his father in battles of the will. Up to the age of 8, he deliberately urinated on the bed and used to spit feces all over the house.Later, Dali found that bad behavior and inattention at school upset his father even more and therefore tried to do as hard as possible.


This partisan war with his father continued throughout Dali’s life. Many of his most extreme demonstrations of character were aimed at a man who, he believed, tyrannized him and dominated him.


Dali's father, for his part, believed that his eccentric and wayward son needed guidance, discipline and discipline - but none of this Dali was able or willing to accept.


The father could be frantic in the pursuit of what he believed was right.


Mother is a silent ally of his son in battles with his father. Care in the disease as a method of psychological protection The mother continues to pamper, childish the child, contributes to the development of infantilism, encourages his escape from reality and separation from life. The mother in every way encourages his departure to the disease, as it seems to her, protecting the child from the father.


“What role did Dali's mother play in this battlefield of two personalities? Her figure is always in the shadows: she sews in a quiet room, immersed in the gloom.She calms Dali after some particularly nasty escapades and incites her son to impersonate himself to the sick. The mother turned out to be his accomplice, because the "sore throats" leave the boy in front of the mother. "

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